Friday, October 24, 2008

Warning - this post contains bad language

People keep asking me how the house we are building is coming along. Well, for quite some time nothing has been done. I had been so excited about the house... planning and designing to my heart's content. 

When we had the doors made and installed I was thrilled. Not only were they well made, they were beautiful too. We had two different types of marble put around the entrance door - I was soooo happy with the way it turned out.

Libyan houses are surrounded by high walls, and there are always nice decorative gates facing the street. I spent hours researching and designing the gates. Actually I'm not thrilled with the idea of gates - I'm from a totally different culture - in America very few houses are surrounded by walls and have gates. But I went to work and after what seemed like forever Hubby and I drew out the plans for something we both liked. Off he went to have them  made and installed.

I didn't think he would screw it up.... but he did.... what was I thinking? What was he thinking? 

After the gates were installed I drove out to the house to have a look. .... and nearly had a heart attack. What happened to the gate I so lovingly designed? I found something HIDEOUS instead:

This is AWFUL!  I got on the phone immediately and started SCREAMING very, very, very LOUDLY 'What the F**K happened to the gate I planned?!?'. Hubby said the guy at the iron monger's said that this what was the latest style. 'WHAT????? I DON"T GIVE A F**K ABOUT WHAT SOME IDIOT THINKS IS STYLE! The guy most likely can't even spell his F***ing name - why would you listen to what he says and take his F***ing advice without consulting me?' I demanded to know.

This telephone exchange happened before I walked through the gate and found this:

The stupid fool has ruined my beautiful door by installing a matching HIDEOUS gate over the top of it! More screaming from me and lots of swearing - I think I used every bad word I know in every language I could think of. 

This is a close up of the detail work:

I'm furious - I've been furious for months now. I have spent years living in a too small apartment and all I wanted was to live in a place that I could feel proud and happy with... not a place I think is HIDEOUS. I think what pisses me off the most is that I wasn't consulted. The house has come to a standstill. I'm not living there until he gets rid of the medieval prison gates. 

Do you think I have a right to be angry? 


  1. I'm sorry! These must have been expensive too. Maybe you can gather some students and go tear them down. Seriously. That sucks.

  2. Teri,

    You have every right to be mad. You have spent nearly 20 years planning this house. The time has come to just get it done. That apartment is designed for maybe a family of 4, not a family of 7 (That includes 3 hormonal teenagers, a prepubescent girl and a little boy with ADHD). It's a mad house! You need some breathing space!

    Maybe you can get rid of one of the "occupants" until the house is finished?

  3. teri im with you all the way on this one they really do look like sh*t. hope you get them down soon or get a bucket of paint or something... anything would be better then those gates.... hugs holly and the kids

  4. i agree why wouldnt they do what you planned , leave it to a man to decide , they ont know what design is and why are gates needed in libya anyway is therea lot of breaking and entering , maybe i dont want to move therei would have them take the gate down and go with your original plan , that is if you do have any say in the matter oviously they didnt take that into consideration

  5. Hi Khadija
    Those gates do look hideous, I completely agree with you. I'm a Libyan living abroad, we (Libyans) had better taste 30 years ago!. What's happend to my beloved Libyans?. Alas your gates are symptomatic of Tripoli's decline. From the glimpses I've seen Tripoli have indeed lost a lot of it's charm.
    P.S. by the way I realy enjoy reading your blog.
    God bless you and your lovely family.

  6. I...I don't even know what to say...I would have had a breakdown. I can't stand other people trying to tell me what I should like because it is in 'style'. Styles like that come and go. And I really can't stand not being consulted even about a little thing - but this! I'm sure what you designed was classic and timeless... I am so sorry! I feel your frustration and I hope that it gets resolved quickly for you!

  7. Maybe you can find a way to live with the outer layer of fortification, and at times it might even come in handy. But that heavy metal insanity strapped across the front door? What kind of aesthetics underlies this eyesore, I wonder? If a house entrance can be thought of as a mouth, then you just got yourself a nice "door niqab." It actually looks like some kinda muzzle, or unconcealed chastity belt, doesn't it? Fascinating representation, if you ask me, especially as a backdrop to the whole rights and not being consulted issue, but I would not want it on such a beautiful front door. I hope you get it removed, and at least enjoy viewing the front door at close range.

  8. This is incredible!! Your lovely door is completely defaced by that monster in front of it. I would be FURIOUS! The first problem is the door, the second is a husand who lets that happen or doesn't take immediate action when it does. Combined, I'd be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Don't put up with it! You ARE right!

  9. you are right i am afraid, they are horrible,most libyans will not keep it.

  10. Dear Khadija

    I'm not going to rhyme today, because I am damn mad, angry and pissed off at Mustafa and what he'd done to the house.
    Mustafa’s taste is worse than crap, this is absolutely an act of disrespect to you. If I'm in your shoes I would go to the house, take with me a handy man and knock down these ugly gates then take them back to the dumb jack ass who made them and get your money back by force if necessary. This is the biggest insult I've ever seen. The house with these stinking gates is worthless.
    Stand up for your rights Khadija, enough is enough.
    I will be waiting to see photos of the house without this crap.

    PS. Take Mustafa for a psychological evaluation, he need to be treated badly.

  11. I have seen similar gates on council properties in some of London's crime riddled areas, they look like prisons!
    I am sorry for your troubles but do agree, they are awful.

  12. No. No. No. Talk about insult to injury! I don't blame you for being angry. I can't even think of anything to say that would comfort you - I'm sorry.

  13. Dear Teri, I must be honest, I laughed to tears and this reminded me of all the mess I made in front of astonished workers when I was in Tripoli. the medieval prison is horrible, I would have killed for less, but you made the big mistake, never leave such responsability to men!!!
    By the way I'm in Tunisia now, but guess what, after months I still don't have my adsl....I miss Libya some days

  14. OH MY GOODNESS, Yes they are even ugly for here, hahaha. I cannot believe after living with you for all these years your husband made such a HUGH "MISTAKE". Maybe they can be used for his "dog house"!!! Mustafa, Mustafa, Mustafa, you are as good as dead meat until "you get it"!!!!!!!! IF MAMA AIN'T HAPPY, AIN'T NOBODY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!. This is the icing on the cake. lol lol lol. Sorry Teri, I cannot believe the poor guy is still alive after putting you through so much. Thanks for keeping us informed. Was he really surprised at your reaction???? Sandi

  15. Well, now I know it's not just my imagination... I haven't received even one comment that didn't support my belief that the gates are an eyesore. Somehow that make me feel better. I'm still waiting for the gates to be removed. Hubby says he will remove them when we finish the house and move in....

    I think NOT.

  16. I feel your pain this is so gully in fact it is very gully!! Why would anyone need a gate like that, this look more like a penitentiary than a home? Please tell him to take the dam inner gate out. If you have to have the outside gate, install it with some kind of space 12” or so between the top of the gate and the bottom of the header.

  17. Teri,

    You have every right to be angry. You and your family will see this gate for a lifetime. Would the welder be willing to change it for you? He had no right to make a decision so personal be his. Big sigh~~ I hope for your sake the end result will be satisfactory for you and your family.


  18. I agree with mahmud abudaber / USA : "Take Mustafa for a psychological evaluation, he need to be treated badly."

    Only thing is he just might like it , lol . Maybe that is why he had prison doors made ? HUM.... S & M comes to mind .Have the kids tear them off the house .
    No wonder you were so pissed off !Mustafa is a bad boy . A very bad boy . He needs some disciplining .

  19. I have seen many gates in my day, and I must be honest - these gates are pretty close to the UGLIEST gates I have ever seen. What were they thinking? Make the guy take them back. It's not fair to your beautiful wood door with the pretty tile around it. How could they do that? I'm so sorry!

  20. What can I say? I tried to find any glimpse of beauty in this thing, but...

    Keep screaming till you get rid of those UGLY gates!


  21. Ah the joys of getting things done in this part of the world. Isn't it grand that the workers know what we like and want better than we do - drives me crazy. Had pictures of what I wanted for a dining room and the carpenter decided he knew my taste better than I did - needless to say I am not happy - after waiting over 2 years - ARGH. I agree the gates are butt ugly and you have every right to be pissed off. Love it when the men are unable to stand up for what we want because they are afraid to offend the 'worker' - minor detail that we are paying for it - must admit I do miss the western credo where the customer is always right. SIGH. Good luck on getting rid of the eye sores.

  22. What is it with libyans and their love of metal bars! My father in law couldnt understand why my dh didnt want to put bars on the outside of our windows! I think they make the house look like prison.

    Your gate is ugly, to be sure, but the bars covering the door just take the biscuit! I dont blame the temper tantrum, I'd have been the same! Your door looked so nice and then this ugly thing took away its beauty!

    I do hope you get it changed, before you move in!

  23. Oh, Ive had a laugh this morning from all these comments. I can see the serious side of this mess, but its also rather funny. SORRY.
    Im sure your hubby will respect your fury eventually and remove them. Just give him another chance.


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