Friday, May 04, 2007

Thinking about invitations...

I've gotten to the point that the word 'wedding' makes my heart sink. I am totally sick of Libyan weddings - and I don't even go to very many of them.

The whole idea of getting all dressed up in an uncomfortable outfit, with a face full of makeup, spending time on my hair and all the rest, just to sit for hours at a wedding with music blasting so loud that you cannot even hear yourself think let alone have a conversation with anyone just makes me feel ill. I sit there thinking about how uncomfortable I am and wishing I were elsewhere. Thinking about all the things I could be doing if I wasn't there. Feeling alone in a roomful of people - feeling alone because the loud music is so isolating.

I might find Libyan weddings a bit more interesting if they were not all the same. But every wedding has the same music, same food, same routine. Why can't someone have a quiet, 1 hour ceremony on the beach with everyone having a piece of cake and something to drink and then everyone goes home? Maybe with a violin soloist instead of loud music? How about an afternoon garden party with a buffet? Why do Libyan weddings always have to go on and on for hours and late into the night? And sometimes last days? AND ALWAYS BE THE SAME????

Sigh... I have weddings to go to soon. I'm thinking of just not going... sigh... It will hurt people's feelings if I don't show up... but I really don't care... sigh...


  1. I know what you are talking about. Friends make plans to go and see each othe there and you can't even talk to them. Not only that but the music is so loud and it is AIIB to dance. The food comes late and they tell you to leave early

  2. I meant leave late! lol so your husbands, brothers ect. are sitting out their waiting and getting really pissed off. If you have to drive your self and another woman home, as was always the case with me, then you like to leave early. Also, Weddings, Bians, Sbooas and every ocasion are the same.

  3. I'll have your dream wedding... On the beach at sunset. Me the bride, barefoot in the sand. Me in a nice simple dress, and he in khaki shorts. Maybe a small diner party afterwards.

    Of course I will have to find a husband and it will probably be on Indian Rocks Beach. But would you come anyway?

  4. Kris - I would do my darndest not to miss your wedding.... get working on it!

  5. Well... is it possible to send a really nice gift and not go without rocking the boat?

    Sorry. I don't even like American weddings, much less Libian.

  6. I hate dressing up for weddings because of my hair. It´s a nightmare every time; and I know people don´t care anyway. But it gives me a chance to look at other people´s hair because most of my collegues and friends are hejabis.
    But I admit; weddings are so alike; even the people are the same all the time.

    Be patient sis K and perhaps bring a good book - who knows, before you know it, you might get a wedding invitation to the second wife´s wedding LOL!
    I´m sure you won´t be bored then ...;-))

  7. My ideal wedding is to go to the bride's home spend an hour with her parents and take my bride straight to the honeymoon. Short and sweet. So dear khadija here's a tip call them and say you're not feeling well and simply don't go.

  8. Salam Sis Khaditateri,

    I agree with everything that you have said. Why is it that we have to recreat the same cultural realities over and over again. I know hard-line Libyans ill defend it as their 'tradition' and culture' but even by islamic standards it's all wrong anyway. I'd love to have my wedding the way you described, on a beach or something, or like Mr Abudaber says, short and sweet.. 1 hour.. and take my bride to the honeymoon.

    I guess one reason that it continues like this is that Women in libya do not really have many chances to 'party' or have 'fun' togethor so they go all out in weddings. Weddings in libya are mre of a community festivity rather than a special festivity for two special people. Walahe it's such a drain on the couples' resources, let alone intrusion sometimes in their privacy or their own lives.

    like you said.. sigh...


  9. To be honest, I absoultly Love libyan weddings, there incredibly fun and interesting.. I suppose i just say that because I dont live in Libya and i love the traditional thing. But in my wedding I want the whole traditional days in a libyan wedding but then i want one in england (where i live) as a proper garden party wedding type of thing.. I love the music there though and the dancing... it depends on the person, i enjoy libyan weddings because im always dancing in them. But its one night were u make an effort and you look incredible. so the thought of you just being uptight about it.. just enjoy them .... there the same but there enjoyable.
    I mean its one time where i can show people how good i can really look, it does take time, but you dont have to try to hard, the main thing is about the enjoyment of it all and the excitement...


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