A Big Fat Libyan Wedding

Well, I finally got my invitation to Aisha Kadafy’s wedding. It was a long time coming. You’re probably wondering what on earth this is all about. Well, here’s the story:

Over the years, every once in a while, I would come across someone that would ask me ‘Do you like The Leader (Moamar Kadafy)?’. Of course in Libya talking about the leader has always been a taboo subject. You didn’t even dare to say his name; usually he was just referred to as ‘The Leader’. Of course, all that’s changed now – you can call him whatever you want, and most times it’s not something nice.

So here I would be, faced with this rather awkward question, wondering if the person doing the asking planned to report whatever I said to internal security. I didn’t want to lie and say I loved the man, or that I even liked him. So I finally decided that when faced with this rather inane question I would reply  truthfully ‘No’.

This answer always provoked a look of shock and disbelief. And then I would add ‘I wasn’t invited to his daughter’s wedding.  I have always done my best to promote his country and to do whatever I can for Libya and its citizens. The least he could have done was to invite me to the party. And you know in Libya if you aren’t invited to someone’s munasabat (occasions) you can just cross them right off your list. So he’s off my list.’ They would spend about a minute contemplating my explanation and then have to agree with me because I had explained it in such a way as to include their very own social custom. And of course, thinking I was joking they would also laugh (rather nervously).

Would I have gone to the wedding if I had been invited? I’m not sure. I hate Libyan weddings and this would have been a mother of a wedding. But in a weird way it would have been nice to have been asked. After the start of the Libyan uprising a video of Aisha’s wedding was leaked to YouTube (here and here).  The wedding had an underwater theme complete with a golden mermaid throne for the bride and groom to sit on while they watched their guests and were entertained by famous Arabic singers. I’m sure it must have cost a fortune, but the overall effect looked really shlafty (Libyan word for redneck).

So where is this story going you are wondering. Keep reading, keep reading….

After the rebel fighters stormed Moamar Kadafy’s compound, Bab Al Azizia, and secured it, people poured in to have a look at all that was there. And there is a whole lot to look at! The place is huge.  And while they were having a look people went crazy and started looting the place. They drove in with trucks and hauled off the furniture, carpets, air conditioners, TVs and anything else they wanted (including arms and ammunition). Kadafy’s house was full of the leader’s personal effects; clothes, books, medical records, they even found his personal photo album devoted to his beloved Condoliza Rice. People and journalists started riffling through all the personal documents and secret files and records that were stored there too.

At first, when I watched this free-for-all on television I was appalled. Then my husband said ‘Let them take it all. Let them get this rage out of their systems. Let them see for themselves what’s been kept from them.’ Apparently, the future plan is that they will demolish the site and turn it into a public park. I suppose it would cost a fortune to hire a company to come get rid of this stuff – why pay? Just let the people haul off what they want. Of course files, and other things of that nature need to be preserved and archived. And weapons need to be secured. But the rest of the junk… let them take it.

As we watched the looting on tv my kids wanted to go to Bab Al-Azizia and see for themselves like everyone else, but I said ‘Not yet. Wait until things settle down a bit.’ We took the kids to Martyr’s Square instead and they had a great time joining in the celebrations. And then we just forgot about going to Bab Al-Azizia. We were busy getting on with our lives. So when my son Yusef came in to the kitchen for breakfast a few days ago and said he was going there with his cousin I was surprised. I asked him what he was going to do and he said that they wanted to explore the place and see it for themselves.

So off he went with his cousin on an adventure that lasted the entire day. And he said he still had not seen everything. The compound is huge; by some accounts over 6 square kilometers. He had a great time discovering what was there. He even sat in Kadafy’s  jacuzzi . That family must have been obsessed with jacuzzi’s – they had them everywhere!

Despite the fact that it’s been over two weeks the looting continues. Yusef wasn’t interested in plundering the compound, he just wanted to explore. But at one point he looked down at his feet and something caught his attention.  A cream coloured envelope, peeking out was a card engraved in gold. He reached down to pick it up and discovered that it was an invitation to Aisha Kadafy’s wedding. Obviously he couldn’t pass that up; he had to bring the invitation home to present to me.

So that is the story of how I got an invitation to Moamar Kadafy’s daughter’s wedding!

Remote control is to show scale. 

Keep praying for Libya

We've been pretty busy lately. We got through Eid celebrations and family visits. This year they were kept to a minimum because of the gasoline situation. Best of all we joined in the celebrations at Martyr's Square. It was amazing and wonderful! 

Ibrahim proudly holding the flag in Martyr's Square, Tripoli.  Peace! 

The last few days I've been getting the house back to a post-Ramadan state and rearranging our schedules. Unfortunately I seem to be the only one interested in changing our time schedule. I prepare lunch only to find no one's gotten up and had breakfast yet. It will take a while I guess. Yesterday and today were so hot that we only felt like eating sandwiches anyway. Maybe I should keep it light for a while.

I went for a drive to see what was going on in my neighbourhood. Some of the shops are reopening but they still haven't been restocked and the prices are still quite high. There are more cars on the roads because Tripoli has gasoline. There are lines at the gas stations but they seem to be moving quite quickly and no one's queue jumping and no one's threatening anyone with guns like in the old Kadafy days. Everyone's being patient - that's really amazing! There are check points everywhere. But the guys manning them are smiling and friendly. They're also doing a great job directing traffic. I also noticed that they are beginning to fill potholes with asphalt. 

I hear that the water situation in town is improving. Thank God we have our own well, but that of course depends on having electricity to pump the water into the holding tanks. We're still having problems with the electricity but it's getting better. We have power most of the time now, however, the electricity fluctuates and sometimes is so weak we have to turn off most of the appliances and unnecessary lights. This might be caused by high usage - the weather has been over 40 degrees C (104 F) for the past few days. Everyone is running their air-conditioners. Hopefully this will be worked out soon.

We've got internet! Yeah! The connection isn't very strong, especially with Wimax, but we're expecting that to improve. Mobile phone coverage is on again off again too - but also improving. I think everyone is trying to call each other and internet all at once. And I'm excited to finally be able to use all the apps on my phone. Yeah!

I've been reading about Kadafy's personal nurses. Link HERE

How ridiculous to think he needed FIVE personal nurses while in Libyan public hospitals there is approximately one very overworked nurse for every 20 to 40 patients. tch.. tch...tch...tch...

Keep praying for Libya. Pray that Kadafy forces in Bani Walid and Sirte put down their weapons and surrender and also that they capture Kadafy and his mob. Pray for a free and liberated Libya.

The Missing Months

We didn't have internet for about six months (March 3rd to August 22nd) in Tripoli, so of course I wasn't able to post on my blog during that time. I did however continue to write... and write, and write and write. It was daily therapy to sit down and type out the day's events. 

I thought about putting it all together and publishing it as a book. But as the war comes to an end and a free Libya opens up to a new beginning I've decided to put the past behind me and post these missing months on my blog. I need to get on with my life. The future is just too alluring for me to be dwelling on the past - but the past definitely needs to be recorded.  

I wasn't able to take as many photos as I would have liked because it was too dangerous to be running around with a camera in public during the war for anyone - imagine if an American was caught taking pictures. It would have made me an instant target and probably would have been the end of me and/or my husband.

The internet connection is still very slow so I'll be uploading the images I have as soon as I am able and post a note that new pics are on.

*** UPDATE, September 3rd, 2011:  I have added the images. ***

I've posted each month separately and put them on my blog as tabs at the top of the page. Or you can find them here:

March 2011

April 2011

May 2011

June 2011

July 2011

August 2011

Please keep Libya in your prayers!

Eid Freedom

While in other places in the world Muslims are celebrating the first day of Eid, Libya will begin Eid tomorrow. Each country marks the end of Ramadan by sighting the new moon and of course that varies from place to place according to weather conditions, etc. 

We had a very simple Ramadan this year. There were so many shortages because of the ongoing war. We had made sure to stockile supplies of basic foodstuffs long before Ramadan began but we still ran short of eggs, bread and fresh vegetables (especially parsley) toward the end of the month. It wasn't because they were unavailable, but because some things just became so expensive we refused to pay the rediculously elevated prices for them - especially parsley which is used in many Ramadan dishes which got up to four dinars for a tiny wilted bunch. We made do without. And because we had run out of gasoline we were unable to get fresh bread. The result was that we kept our meals simple and baked bread at home. Desserts were usually fresh fruit that was available on our farm or baked homemade cakes, cobblers and puddings. Imagine a Ramadan in Libya without zlabiyah! 

The social aspect of Ramadan had changed for us as well. Without gasoline it was impossible to visit anyone. My mother-in-law and  two of my sister-in-laws came over once and that was only because they had come to the farm when it became too dangerous to stay in their house in town. We stayed at home, watching tv, reading, sitting in the garden and listening to the war.

One of the traditions in Ramadan is shopping for new clothes to wear for Eid. We didn't do that at all this year. Earlier in the war I had bought some new clothes for Ibrahim and I had set aside two outfits so he will wear those. The rest of us will just wear something clean and nice. 

Kids also get toys for the feast and Ibrahim has been asking for a remote control car (he asks for this every year). Well, that will have to wait since we haven't been able to get to town to look for one yet. Also earlier in the war I had bought a few packages of hard candies and hidden them away - so I've got sweets to pass out for the kids. 

Eid will be simple this year, but we are thankful because it will be the most wonderful Eid Libya has seen in 42 years. Libya is free! 

Wishing everyone a very happy, peaceful and safe Eid.

Feeding an army

Saturday, August 27^th, 2011 | 27^th Ramadan

A few days ago while my husband and my son Yusef were out and about they came across a group of opposition fighters from Misrata. It turned out that one of them was a friend of one of my husband’s cousins. Libya after all is a small world and if you sit down to talk to someone for any length of time you will usually find some kind of connection. They chatted for a bit and then everyone went their separate ways.

Quite by chance they met up again the following day. Yusef ended up spending the day with the group. To say that he was thrilled is an understatement. He’s joined them and is off on an adventure.  Actually he is unofficially part of their group; he hasn’t registered to be a fighter because he is underage. He’s unarmed and tags along as kind of a gopher, no matter, it’s certainly just as dangerous and he is delighted and honored to be a part of the liberation of Libya.

What are my feelings about this? Hmmm…. It’s easy to say boys will be boys. On the one hand I am proud of my son. He is eager to free Libya in any way he can. On the other hand I am terrified that he could be injured – or worse. When he’s out I try to keep in contact with him but the phone coverage is miserable and I can’t always get through to him. I also am doing my best to convince myself that most of the fighting is over in Tripoli thus making Yusef’s new role a safer one. And Yusef comes home to sleep.

Last night, after spending the entire evening trying in vain to get a phone call through to Yusef, the phone rang. It was nearly three o’clock in the morning and it was Yusef. ‘Mom! I’m almost home. I’m bringing the guys! Cook us something!’ he said excitedly. ‘How many are coming with you?’ I asked. ‘Just six’ he replied as the phone disconnected.

I went in the bedroom to wake my husband up to tell him the news, then headed for the kitchen to cook up a large pot of ‘Macrona Umbakbaka’ a spicy Libyan pasta dish flavoured with tomatoes, jalapeno peppers, fresh basil and big chunks of beef jerky. My husband went out to the grape vines and picked enough grapes to fill a huge bowl, and we made sure there was plenty of ice cold water and juice to drink.

Our dogs began to bark, announcing the arrival of our special guests who pulled their heavily armored vehicle into the farm and drove it all the way into the far corner. They refused to come anywhere near the house, preferring to stay outside in the dark field under the starlit sky. ‘We’ve been outside for five months’ they said. ‘We are used to it this way.’

They ate and rested a bit. Soon it was dawn and time for them to move off, and for Yusef to head to bed for some much needed sleep. It was certainly an honor to feed the freedom fighters. May God watch over them and keep them safe.

It's not over yet

Although we continue to celebrate, there are still pockets of fighting around Tripoli and the King of Kings and his progeny are still at large. Our electricity keeps going off and the internet connection is sporadic (but we are so thankful for what we have).

I've been staying at home (where I am safe), waiting for this to finally come to an end. I'll post when I can.

Keep Libya in your prayers. 

I'm safe and well in Libya. It's been a long hard six months but I made it. The internet has been turned on and I'm slowly sifting through over 2000 emails. Thanks to all who have commented, emailed, worried and prayed for me. I'll update as soon as I can. Just so busy celebrating!