Monday, November 16, 2009
A special note for November
7 comments:
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After living in Libya for twenty-six years you would think my Arabic would be perfect, but it is far, far, far from that. I do get my point ...
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In my last post I wrote about how I felt on the first day of my arrival back to Libya after a month's absence. I said it was dirtier and...
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The rains have finally come, accompanied by lightening and thunder. The weather is cooler and the dust has settled. We'll see how treac...
I know this is a bit random --
ReplyDeletehowever -- what are your thoughts on arranged mariages? Coming from an American background , would you like to see your daughters pick their own mates - or would like to search and put the word out yourselves as parents.
My husbands family just sent the word out - regarding our 16 year old daughter - I'm livid that they should even be considering her as a possible candidate for a 4 year engagement ... WTF.
If you have the time I would LOVE to hear your thoughts regarding both genders, actually , when it comes to arranging their futures...
anonymous.... what do you mean by 'sent word out'? As far as I know in Libya no one goes out looking for a partner for a female.
ReplyDelete16 years of age is too young for a girl to be thinking about getting married. In this day and age a girl has to be ready to take care of herself. And this means getting a university degree and having a job. Who knows what the future holds. Life today is not like the past when people helped each other out. Everyone nowadays must be able to take care of themselves. Your daughter just may have an entire family to support all by herself - so make sure she is able to do it.
Let's put it this way -- the sister in laws got news of a potentialy ' great ' man who was looking for a wife , first they considered one niece - who's father said no - too young, and then my daughter came to their mind, who is the same age as the niece, 16. I WAS LIVID...
ReplyDeleteAnd the selling point ... you can have a 4 year engagement then marry her when she's 20 .... WT..
Sorry I have alot of trouble with the concept of arranged marriages .. from what I have seen it's rare that Love ever develops post ceremony.
I believe everyone should find their own partners , ultimately the couple must live together and function not with their families but together - how can you do this especially - when you don't KNOW one another...
If you agreed chances are they would wait a bit and then say something has come up that has made it important that the marriage take place right away... very rare for anyone to wait 4 years.
ReplyDeleteIf they think your daughter is so wonderful they will come back when she is twenty and ask again. Child brides are never pretty, but young women are lovely.
What's your opinion on arranged marriages?
ReplyDeleteanonymous.... why is my opinion on arranged marriages so important?
ReplyDeleteCurious ... that's all.
ReplyDeletecoming from an American background, married to a Libyan, converted to Islam - having chosen your own partner - just wondering where you stand on the subject - and also wondering if you would choose your own children's mates...
Is this a sensitive subject ... my apologies..