It's Me....

I've always said that naming my children was harder than giving birth to them. Their names were important - more than likely they would have them all of their lives. It was hard to decide what they should be called. My name, or at least what I am called, has evolved over time. 

Officially, my name is Therese Martin, when I married my husband I decided that in traditional Muslim fashion I would keep my surname because after all, I only married him, he doesn't own me. Keeping my name meant keeping my identity. Since I was a child my family and friends always called me Teri or sometimes Teri-Anne. Therese was always kept for official things and that turned out to be quite useful. For example, if anyone ever telephoned asking for Therese, I immediately knew it wasn't friend or family and I would reply "Can I take a message?'  However, after I moved to Libya things changed and I became known as Khadija.

The name Khadija needs a bit more explanation. When I became Muslim (in 1982) the mosque prepared a certificate for me and at that time asked me if I would like to choose an Islamic name as some people like to do so when they make this life changing event. I thought about it for a while and chose the name Khadija. I never had my name officially changed, but  I  began using the name after I traveled to Libya. Let me explain....

Khadija is the name of Prophet Mohamed's first wife. She was a very successful and wealthy business woman and merchant. Her caravans equaled the amount of all the other caravans of the Quraish put together. The Quraish was a tribe comprised of 14 clans that inhabited Arabia and controlled Mecca.  Khadija was known by the by-names Ameerat-Quraysh ("Princess of Quraysh"), al-Tahira ("The Pure One") and Khadija Al-Kubra (Khadija "the Great"). She never traveled on her caravans, instead she hired others to trade on her behalf for a commission.  She hired Mohamed who was at the time 25 years old - this was before he received the Message. She was so impressed by Mohamed that she proposed marriage to him even though she was about 15 years older than him. When Mohamed received the Message she became the first Muslim woman. She remained married to him until her death 25 years later. He never married another woman until after she died even though polygamy was usual at that time. 

Khadija was a woman before her time - wealthy, successful, educated, married a handsome man much younger than herself, the first Muslim woman... What better name to choose?

After I arrived in Libya I found that people had trouble pronouncing my name. When they called me Teri they rolled the 'r' and it sounded like the word they use when they are on a donkey and want to make it go faster - Terrrri! Terrri! So I tried Therese, but they mangled it and made it sound like they were saying 'idreese' which is the Arabic word meaning 'men'. That's when I decided that I would just have everyone there call me Khadija and it worked perfectly!

Later on, I met another American woman in Libya who was also called Khadija - but she had taken it one step further and had her name legally changed to Khadija. Every time anyone in the expat community talked about either of us they would ask 'Which Khadija?" and if it was me the response would be KhadijaTeri. When I started my website (a few years before I started blogging) I called it Khadija Teri. I'll answer to Teri, Khadija or KhadijaTeri, but I still save Therese for formal occasions. Many Libyans know me as Mrs Khadija - the American woman that teaches English and does IELTS preparation courses. I have had hundreds of students over the years (something I am very proud of).

This calligraphy that spells out Khadija Teri was made by a blogger called Libya Gharian... sadly his blog no longer exists, but I am honored that someone took the time to create this especially for me and I keep it on the sidebar of my blog. 

Ramadan Mubarak

Today is the first day of Ramadan. I have been looking forward to Ramadan for months. It is as though it is a respite from all of the world's problems as I plan to avoid watching the news and instead look inwards and focus on my spiritual life. I'm looking at it as time to recover from everything that has been thrown at me this year. A lot of prayers this month for myself and my family and many, many, many prayers for Libya and Libyans. 

Best wishes to all for a peaceful and safe Ramadan. 

Ramadan Kareem!

Almost like being in Libya

I came across a page that someone created on Facebook where they are uploading 360 degree images of Libya. So far it looks to be primarily from the Tripoli area, but hopefully the collection will grow. No mention is made on the page as to who is the creator. I think it's a fabulous idea!

I added the link to my Link List and a sample below. You can find the Facebook page here: 360 Around You

Click on the picture to go to the 360 image

A Day Away

We took a day off last week to spend some time at the Rainbow River in Dunellon, Florida which is about a two hour drive from where we live. The water is a refreshing 71F  all year round. We swam and snorkeled and the kids went off in the kayaks to look for alligators - and found one! They said it was a small one, but I could hear a larger one downriver on the other bank where there was some tall grass growing. 

It was a lovely day. Sometimes you just need to get away for a while. 

Some Updates To My Link List

Recently, I made a few updates to my Link List. I started putting together a Links List about 15 years ago. I come across so many interesting blogs, websites and news sources about Libya, when I find anything new I add them to share with my readers. A few of the links are in English and Arabic (or other languages) but the list is primarily sources about Libya that are in English. 

The list keeps growing and changing. I am calling out to my readers for a little help: 

• Do you know of any links that are not on the list? Let me know and I will add them. 

• Have you come across any of the links on my list that are broken, or pointing to the wrong place? Let me know and I will fix or remove them.

A few of my readers have mentioned that they have bookmarked my Links List page for easy reference. That's a good idea! You can find my Links List in the tabs at the top of my Home page, or find it here: Links List

Libyan of the Diaspora

Way back in 2007, I gave my friend Tara a kitten. We had just come back from the Nalut Spring Festival so it seemed only fitting that she name the kitten Nalut. 

Ten years have passed and Tara still has Nalut. After she left Libya she lived a while in New Mexico, then spent quite some time in Cyprus. Now she is back in New Mexico... but she is still very much a Libyan cat! 

Nalut... age 10, Albuquerque, New Mexico

The picture below is from 2007 - Nalut as a kitten on the day I gave her to Tara. Has it really been ten years? So much has happened and so many things have changed. I wonder if Nalut dreams of Libya like many displaced Libyans ... She is a diaspora kitty.

Quality Time

Mom hates pizza, but she agreed to go have pizza the other day. She decided that she hated pizza after my son Adam came to the US in 2008 to live with her. She said he ate a lot of pizza... pizza till she felt it was coming out of her ears. Now she seldom eats pizza, but on this particular day she said 'Let's get pizza' so we did!

Sometimes we eat out on the back porch. This particular day mom decided she didn't want to eat on a plate, instead she put everything in one bowl. Mom likes to eat on paper plates, but we had run out. Real dishes seem to annoy her for some reason. She drinks her coffee in paper cups too. When we were growing up we never used paper plates, but she insisted on us using paper cups when we were kids. She said they were more sanitary. Dixie cups... I always hated them!

One day we decided to have sandwiches at the park. After we ate we had a walk, I pushed mom in her wheel chair. She wasn't sure where we were and that seemed to bother her a bit. Sometimes when I wear my scarf my mother thinks I am a Libyan woman that cares for her.  When I take off my scarf at home I am her daughter Teri again... but sometimes she thinks I'm my sister. 

I thought a trip to an antique mall would interest her. We found a section that was set up just like her mother's kitchen with all the old kitchen tools, gadgets, plates and cabinetry. Mom thought it was funny, but nothing else seemed to interest her. I liked a huge replica of a sail boat. Mom thought it was too expensive. I reminded her the point of the trip was to look and not buy. Mom hates window shopping. I think she went along just to make me happy. We bought nothing. It made me happy though.

There are some lovely, well kept tennis courts nearby. The kids decided that they wanted to learn how to play, so I managed to find some rackets and balls and we headed out to the courts. Mom came along to watch the kids' attempt at learning how to hit the balls to each other. I took this picture of her on the bench. 'That's an old woman' she said when I showed it to her. She didn't realize it was her until I told her.

Since Mom's surgery last December her dementia has gotten worse. Today the doctor prescribed some medicine that will hopefully slow it down. It won't make her better, but it should help by giving us more quality time together.