Going through a phase.... Will I recover?

The internet has been intermittent lately and it's frustrating. I have no idea what they are doing with wimax but I wish they would hurry up and sort it out. We've come to rely on it for making phone calls to family and friends and when the signal is weak you can just forget it. 

I've been going through an 'I hate my life in Libya' phase lately. This all started when I got up one morning to take the kids to school and found that one of our dogs had been poisoned. Quick thinking by hubby who force fed milk to the dog and bought enough time to get some antidote from the vet. We aren't sure who poisoned poor Flora but we have a pretty good idea.... sick bastards... sigh.. I spent the entire morning in bed crying.

We've already lost one dog to poisoning, and let me tell you it is a horrific way to die. Also our cat disapeared and we're not sure if she was poisoned or stolen. Luckily Laila's kittens were old enough to fend for themselves when she dissapeared. It is very difficult to lose your pets. We still keep looking for Laila, hoping she had been stolen and will escape and find her way home. The dog has recovered, thank God.

On another note; I found a nice bag in Marks & Spencer last week. It's just about perfect.. it has a loooong shoulder strap, which most bags nowadays lack. The only thing I really don't like about it is that is has two large side pockets. I made a note to never, ever, put anything expensive in the pockets because they would definitely be targetted by pickpockets. I put pens and a few board markers in the pockets - cheap and easily replaced. Two days after I bought the bag I popped into Monsoon to look for a gift for a friend. It was about 5 o'clock and there were only two other customers in the shop... one of them came right over, crowding me and bumping up against me. I knew just what she was doing. I turned and smiled at her as she took her hand out of the pocket of my bag. She looked very dissapointed. It was just another point for my 'I hate my life in Libya' box. 

Jenna came home from school and announced that there was a man on the street next to her school who was masturbating. This unfortunately is a common occurance here. I can't understand why there isn't more survailance in the area near the school. Over the years this has happened three times to me, and my daughters, friends and colleagues have also witnessed such disgusting behaviour. Sick! Sick! Sick! More points for the 'I hate it here' box. What a week!

Food is getting really expensive, meat and chicken prices have really gone up, chicken doubling in the last month. It cost us 18 dinars to buy two chickens yesterday. Today we had a meatless lunch (bazeen bil fool), maybe we'll do that more often. What's with the inflation? I feel so cheated! It's depressing! All I know is that Ramadan will be here in a August and the prices soar in the Holy month every year. So between now and then I think we'll have to buy a freezer so I can start stocking up on things.

It's springtime, the sun is shining, the birds are singing... things will start to look up soon.. I hope... life can be so depressing sometimes.





Comments

  1. Sorry to hear that you are feeling down. We all have days when we say why did we come? But everywhere has it's problems... Hope you feel better soon and remember you are not alone. :)

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  2. Sorry to hear you are feeling so down lately... Maybe you should tyr to plan a trip to take. Being away from your home, even for a week or two can sometimes make you appreciate it all the more. Hope that things start to look better for you. I love your blog and look forward to all your posts.

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  3. Dear Khdijs,

    I am sorry to read this article. I pray to God to give you patience and strenght to go on with your life. I am sure that together with your lovely family, you will get over this episode. I know that many Libyans are nice people, because I work with them. But there are few who they seem to have their heart green from inside. Even at my work, if I have 5 Libyans working with me, 4 of them they are nice and helpful, but then you find that one, that he has a stuburn mind, with hateful thoughts for all the people around him, being libyans or foreigners. And these people seem to be very unhappy everyday.
    So, let them live as they wish.. just be happy with your family your lovely children and your husband. A pet will be greately missed, but for sure you can get another one, or even two instead of one... Life is hard but it keeps going on and on and on... and it is as beautiful as we make it .. wherever we are..

    take care

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  4. madam teri, sick people are everyhwere and not just libya...in fact comparing it to united states, libya is a bliss,,at least fathers don't rape daughters here,,,and not much sex violence here or gang killings..and according to masturbating,,,western women many of them do it openly in work and public and many sex acts....and at least in libya you don't see naked men and women hugging each other openly.... i have witnessed many in the west,,,,disgusting!....and as for the dog poisoned, well don't tell me you see more humane acts in the united states ugh ...open your eyes and if you have hatred towards libya from the first place then nothing is going to make you love it ....because the hatred is planted inside and you try to look for anything against it..... a few idiots in libya don't represent libyans ....and shop hackers and thieves are all over the world in all societies,,,at least here they don't kill an elderly person for a few dollars..... many americans here appreciate libya alot and good and people are everyhwere but i see it more dominant in the west...lbyans are tremendous ppl andwhilst you see some wild behaviour it is nothing compared to our western societies,,,,, we have order but no dignity and so while in libya there is no order at least the people have dignity and i honour them for that...

    Greg H (russian british who had lived in libya for many many years) God bless Libya....

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  5. and no you won't recover until you see the bright sides of things...and see the golden side of libyans....condemning leads to endless hate.

    Greg

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  6. Salaam sis,

    That is just terrible! How can someone purposely poison your dogs! Don't they remember the story of the man who gave water to the thirsty dog - being granted paradise for his KINDNESS! Don't they remember the woman who starved her cat - being promised a place Hell for her cruelty! Don't they fear their Maker! I hate such cruelty, and just can't understand how someone can be so evil! These people probably have their brains so full of drugs and drink! Am glad your pet recovered, and well done to your dh for quick thinking! Hope you get your cat back. My two never came back, and I'm reluctant to get more!

    I too have been going through an 'I hate libya and wanna go home' phase. My son was really sick, and I didn't know who to bring him to see or where to go - so I was damning the whole lack of health system here! Anyway, won't turn this into any more of a rant, coz I could just go on and on!

    Keep your chin up.

    xxx

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  7. I know that Wimax offers an antenna that makes your signal stronger for over a hundred dinar. I have heard that it makes the connection super fast. In regards to the indecent acts encountered near your daughter's school...I have no comment because I have NEVER seen that here. Maybe I'm hanging around the wrong part of town? But, usually when its time for all the kids to come home from school its pretty busy everywhere, how come nobody saw him and gave him a good beating. Because you and I both know that is in no way considered NORMAL here.

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  8. Anyone who’s inflects pain upon Gods precious
    animals is nothing but a pure evil.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A hurt cat’s eyes reflects cruel evil & madness
    In an abused dog’s face I see tears & sadness

    I heard a kitten in a distance meows and cries
    She was dumped in an ally with both burnt eyes

    A dog moans in pain covered with flies & bugs
    Too weak to move because it got broken legs

    How could be such a cruelty and we let it go
    Let’s be responsible & there’s a job we must do

    Each time I see a sad animal it tears me apart
    Evil has shapes such a human shape with no heart

    Let’s protect our animals from those full of hate
    We must rescue the helpless before it’s too late

    Animals do need our help & we must do our job
    Need not a uniform, or a badge to be an animal cop

    --------------------------------
    mahmud abudaber
    Los Angeles, Ca USA
    Monday April 5, 2010

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  9. Greg... Libya is not bliss compared to America (what drugs are you on?). There is plenty of rape and incest in Libya - it's just taboo to talk about it. I've never seen anyone naked in America, Tunisa yes (on the beach), but America no. Walking around naked in public in America is sure to get you arrested - it's against the law.

    Men hang around by schools and expose themselves to the school gilrs as they pass by. These incidents are rarely reported to the police because Libyan girls and women are afraid that they will just get accused of 'enticing' the men into behaving this way. They told us this at the police station when we went to file a complaint. How sad is that?


    Animal cruelty happens everywhere but in Libya it is rampant - it's completely legal here to have dog fights etc. Cats and dogs run wild in the streets, living off garbage. No one gives them a second thought. Most animals look abused (even in the pet shops).

    Amoola... I hope your son is better. The medical system here is so frustrating.

    Anonymous... the wimax comes and goes.. I already have the most expensive wimax modem - if it needs an antenna the company should have provided it with it. Unfortunately the guy hanging arounds my daughters school has been hanging about for over a year and no one has stopped him. If they do catch him I hope that they do more than just beat him. He has some serious probelms!

    Mahmud... thanks for the poem - you are a treasure!

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  10. don't worry dear...you'll definitely recover

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anyone who’s inflects pain upon Gods precious
    animals is nothing but a pure evil.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A hurt cat’s eyes reflects cruel evil & madness
    In an abused dog’s face I see tears & sadness

    I heard a kitten in a distance meows and cries
    She was dumped in an ally with both burnt eyes

    A dog moans in pain covered with flies & bugs
    Too weak to move because it got broken legs

    How could be such a cruelty and we let it go
    Let’s be responsible & there’s a job we must do

    Each time I see a sad animal it tears me apart
    Evil has shapes such a human shape with no heart

    Let’s protect our animals from those full of hate
    We must rescue the helpless before it’s too late

    Animals do need our help & we must do our job
    Need not a uniform, or a badge to be an animal cop

    ReplyDelete
  12. ( the grass is griner on the other side), dear kadiga i think you need to thing very carfully now adays, you come across roads and what is holding you is just your familiy. home is home, 2 thing we dont choose them parents and countries. libya for us is home and the USA for you, so please if you do not like living in libya so we do, we dont like to live in the usa or any other country because is not home but we try to make the best of our lives, we all have bad times and good times but which one you count more. for me i count the good times although they are very rare.

    ReplyDelete
  13. " for me i count the good times although they are very rare."

    That's such a brilliant quote.

    I dont get this inbred closed-off mentality, that if someone doesn't like Libya, then you have to dislike another country in return.

    I was born here in Benghazi, my parents moved to the uk when i was 4, and came here to study when i was 23.
    Bloody hell. I thought language was gonna be barrier.
    Nobody warned me that it was a single-sex culture, and with that there's a creepy vibe about the place.
    I've NEVER seen as much sexual harrasment (verbal) as i have here. NEVER seen as much racism as i've seen here (mostly towards egyptians, or people from the eastern desert).

    You can beat a kid with a stick in public, but you CAN'T hold your wife's hand.

    It's really weird. I tried to explain to my friends that i miss the "mixed" environment, they think i'm after some action. I try and try to explain that it's something above the waist, and all i get are blinking vacant looks.

    Chin up Khadija. It's peaks and troughs, and you're lucky you live in Tripoli.

    Oh yeah Greg: My cousin is Libyan and very fair skinned. Last summer one of our neighbours shouted "How much for night?".
    My Cousin is a boy. where's the dignity in that?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sorry things were so bad . Hope they are much better by now . Did the cat come home ?

    ReplyDelete

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