You Know You've Lived in the Arab World Too Long When...

You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat

You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative

You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read "insha'allah"

You don't expect to eat dinner before 10:30 p.m.

You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees outside

Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid

You believe that speed limits are only advisory

You have no problem with tractors driving 40kph on the highway

You think all cops drive Audis and Mercedes Benz'

You know whether or not you are within missile range of Iraq

You get excited and spread the news when "Oreo" cookies show up at the grocerystore

You fully expect to go to jail when a local national hits the back of your carat a stop sign

You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first

You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, thefaster the light will turn green

You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three timesby contractors in the space of a few weeks

You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn

You think that all gas stations are made of marble

You can receive every TV station crystal clear except the local one

You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during the summer

You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought

You expect gold for every birthday

You think Pepsi begins with a "B"

You think that a box of kleenex belongs on every dinner table

You think water only comes in bottles

You understand that when someone says "Bukra (tomorrow), Insha'Allah" to you itreally means "Sometime during this calendar year"...if you're lucky!